album name

The Theme Songs Project

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by Matthew Gehrett

 
1.
Joe Scheidt is a Mighty Fine Fellow 00:30
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2.
All Christy Wants 00:58
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3.
To Be Like Scott 00:39
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4.
Scott and Christy 00:40
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5.
Do You Need Rock? 00:55
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6.
It's Caleb! It's Carter! 00:36
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7.
Crackerwax 00:33
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8.
The National Treasure 01:05
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9.
Dan is a Man (Of Various Interests) 00:52
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10.
A Fabulous Guy 00:50
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11.
Jo Is and Is and Is 00:40
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12.
Danica 00:28
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13.
What Are the Chances, David? 00:50
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14.
Song for Goat 00:47
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15.
Father's Not Funny 00:37
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16.
I Like Cynthia 00:32
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17.
Welcome, Bernadette Esther 01:03
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18.
Bill Wheatley 00:48
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19.
Tiny T 00:39
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20.
Peter, Do You Want to Go 00:32
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21.
Sharlot Hart 00:45
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22.
The Mad Hatter 00:44
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23.
Big Rush, the Rock and Roll Tax Accountant 00:42
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24.
Friday Knights 00:59
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25.
Arthur Knows Everything 00:49
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26.
Ellen's Song 00:53
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27.
David Sees All 00:36
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28.
Knights of the Guild 00:45
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credits
released 28 November 2009
Matthew did almost everything. Some helpers:

Timm Gehrett - backup vocals on "Crackerwax"
Scott Gehrett - wailed on some guitar in "Dan is a Man (of Various Interests)"
Jennifer Fredette - background vocals on a few songs
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Track Name: Joe Scheidt is a Mighty Fine Fellow
Joe Scheidt is a mighty fine fellow
Joe Scheidt, yes indeed!

When a bad idea comes riding into town
No doubt, Joe Scheidt is its steed!
Track Name: All Christy Wants
All Christy wants is a diet coke
She doesn't want candy
She doesn't want a smoke

She doesn't want rubies
Or love notes in the sky
She doesn't want money
If you don't wanna die

You better get Christy a diet coke
Run and get Christy a diet coke
Who cares if it's midnight? A diet coke
If you like breathing, if you don't want to choke
You better get Christy a diet motherfuckin' coke
Track Name: To Be Like Scott
Scott, why are you Scott?
Can't not be Scott

Though they don't want you to be yourself
You can't bear to be anyone else

Why do you have to be like Scott?
You know that you have to be like Scott!
Track Name: Do You Need Rock?
Do you need help with Python or Perl
Do you need to know the right way?
Are you looking for someone to help
Because everyone's led you astray?
(I know a guy)
He's quite good-looking, if I might say
And he's got the most rocktastic name
He's Rock Mutchler
He's Rock Mutchler
Track Name: It's Caleb! It's Carter!
It's Caleb! It's Carter!
It's Caleb! It's Carter!
They like anything with great big teeth
They like dinosaurs, but they hate toy thieves
It's Caleb! It's Carter!
It's Caleb! It's Carter!
They like spiderman and they like to rock
They like Mary Jane, but they hate Doc Ock
It's Caleb! It's Carter!
Track Name: Crackerwax
You should probably bring a battle axe
When dealing with the Crackerwax
You shouldn't let yourself relax
Keep an eye out, watch your back

He's watching everything you say
For contradiction
He throws it right back in your face
To feed the tension

You should probably bring a battle axe
When dealing with the Crackerwax
Track Name: The National Treasure
He's a national treasure
We'd be lost without his expertise
In contract law and conflicts
"Pacta sunt servanda" is what he breathes

He's Balthazar to our Antonio
King Lear wishes he'd have known
To take advice from the legendary
Russell Weintraub, JD

Take advice from the legendary
Russell Weintraub, JD
Track Name: Dan is a Man (Of Various Interests)
Dan is a man of various interests
Photography
Psychology
Monty Pythony
Freddie Mercury
Dan is a man of various interests
But there's one thing that he wants more than all

He wants to give you a high five!
He wants to give you a high five!
Track Name: A Fabulous Guy
Jeff's a fabulous guy
His policies are outta sight
But one thing he cares about
More than getting claims right
What's the final score of
this year's Big Game?

Go Cal Bears, Go Cal Bears!

Jeff's a fabulous guy
A fantabulous guy
Such a fabulous guy
Track Name: Jo Is and Is and Is
Jo is Jo if you don't know his story
You should listen more he'd
LIke you to write it down

Jo is Jo and Fleistergeis and Squirrelly
He lives in different worlds he's
In the next town

He's the one to throw up a diversion
Take him on an excursion
And you can sneak around

He's a scientist and tank and a pickpocket
He's probably built a rocket, you know the kind that
Never, ever, ever, ever came down
Track Name: Danica
Danica, Danica
She's an expert at Settlers of Catan-ica
She likes her movies vampirical
Her knowledge empirical
Zombies, Slushies
She never acts mean (I wanna eat your brains)
She's keen
(She's a dream)
Danica
Track Name: What Are the Chances, David?
Late last night over beers at the Bird 'n' Baby
Sat a young man pondering the probability
That all the heads outside the Sheldonian
Would burst forth singing together in harmony

The answer is staggering, it's hardly worth mentioning
But only David would find himself wondering

David
Oxford's favorite maths geek
David
It's 1-in-a-kajillion or so
Aren't you glad that you know?
Thanks to David
Track Name: Song for Goat
She's an agricultural historian
She studies changes in organizations

If you're curious
Where sweet corn came from
She'll tell you "the same guy
who built the mule-footed hog"

Professor Kim will tell you what you need to know
She knows who made the things that make your food grow
Track Name: Father's Not Funny
Father's not familiar with the finer points of comedy
Father's got a stack of books as far as the eye can see

Father's not funny
But he's got a way of bein'
That makes him everything
That a father should be

Father's not familiar with the finer points of comedy
Father's not familiar with the nature of hilarity
Father's not funny!
(Oh, dad...)
Track Name: I Like Cynthia
You know, if I know Cynthia
I would her for a long walk along the beach
You know, if I know Cynthia
I'll put on some Cub, we'll pretend we're on the scene
I know all the things that she likes
Kittens and ocean waves
Fun on vacation days
I'm learning all the ways
That I like Cynthia
Track Name: Welcome, Bernadette Esther
Welcome Bernadette Esther
We're glad you're here
We hope you make life a good thing
With your bright cheeks ours won't be the same
We're glad you came

Welcome Bernadette Esther
We're glad you're here
Welcome Bernadette Esther
We're glad, so glad you're here
Bernadette Esther
Track Name: Bill Wheatley
Bill Wheatley didn't tell me much about himself
So I'm gonna make it up as I go along
When he moved from Baltimore
To the city of Los Angeles
He was probably running from the law

Bill Wheatley is a trekkie but he hates the World of Warcraft
So I can only guess he has no heart
But with all that extra time, he probably has a friend or two
And that will do for a start
That will do for a start
Bill, I'm joking -
I know you have a heart
Track Name: Tiny T
It's Tiny T
She's like a superhuman version of you and me
Armed with her camera
She'll bring the world to its knees

It's Tiny T
She's like a superhero mother of three
Armed with her passion
She'll bring the world the hope that it needs
Track Name: Peter, Do You Want to Go
Peter, do you wanna go
Have a cuppa joe
Maybe after we could take some pictures

Peter, do you wanna go
Have a cuppa joe
Maybe after we could have a freakout

Peter, do you wanna go
Have a cuppa joe
Maybe after we could take some pictures
Track Name: Sharlot Hart
Sharlot Hart looks after the forest

Sharlot won't let your carelessness destroy it

In the Arizona heat
She's the ranger you want to meet

If you need a hand, if you're lost in the park
Be glad you came across Sharlot Hart
Track Name: The Mad Hatter
She's a one-woman crime wave
With a feather in her cap
I hope you didn't want to keep that
Money in the bank
Or that blood inside your head
No, with her running loose
You're better off dead

A one-woman crime wave
With a feather in her cap
I know it's hard to believe that
She can cause such chaos on her own
You always can find her footprints
When a vault gets blown

The Mad Hatter doesn't need to sleep
So when your eyes snap shut,
You better pray she isn't near

The Mad Hatter always plays for keeps
So when the chips are down
Don't bluff, 'cause she will smell your fear
Track Name: Big Rush, the Rock and Roll Tax Accountant
Big Rush the Rock and Roll tax accountant
Will deduct your face
If you do not headbang
Big Rush the Rock and Roll tax accountant
You are not exempt
From rocking out with him
He doesn't care if it's rock or it's roll
As long as it's both, as long as it's both
Track Name: Friday Knights
They may not have a lot of money
But these critical failures are always funny.
During the week, a mundane plight
Waiting for FRIDAY NIGHT!

At the mercy of their GM
With swords! and bows! and magical may-hem
If a monster should come their way
You’ll hear them shout LET US SLAY!

Orcs and Trolls fear what their rollin!
Till Reality arrives, ‘cause it be trollin!
They may not have a lot of money
But the Friday Knights are always funny
Track Name: Arthur Knows Everything
What the world needs
Is a man to tell you
Everything you'd ever need to know
And I know
Who you all should go and see
Because Arthur knows everything

Arthur knows everything...

From aardvark to zephyr
From quantum to infinite
All of the presidents
From Washington to who'll be next

Prehistory to prophecy
The continents and all the seas
He's like John Hodgman, only he
Tells the truth unfailingly

Arthur knows everything
Track Name: Ellen's Song
So you walked into my life
I hope we cook up something good
So let's roast life on a spit
Enjoy it like we know we should

You and me, we make the greatest recipe
GREATEST RECIPE!
Track Name: David Sees All
David sees everything that makes the world
David sees every piece that makes a whole

Everything you've ever wondered
"What goes on inside" -
David's torn apart and figured out in his mind

David sees everything that's ever been
David sees the force that makes the planet spin
Track Name: Knights of the Guild
Kenny and Jenny 
Welcome you to "Knights of the Guild"
Action-packed, information filled
Stuffed to the gills
Knights of the Guild

Jenny and Kenny
Welcome you behind the scenes
They find amazing interviewees
Like your favorite Guildies
Knights of the Guild

And of course, they're serving
Cookies and love
Cookies and love
Unicorn tears and 
Cookies and love
Kenny and Jenny
Welcome you to cookies and love